Pervertibles
Pervertibles - what?
I STRONGLY suggest that you use only the safest and best sex toys designed specifically to be used as sex toys for your intimate play and pleasure. However, I understand that sex toys can sometimes be expensive and inaccessible and for SOME products, crafty alternatives can be substituted in.
Pervertibles is a term used to describe any old household item that one may creatively use as a pleasure product or kinky toy. It can be really fun to get your creative juices flowing and utilize the items around you during your sexy time.
My biggest advice is to employ RACK, an acronym most commonly used by the Kink community which stands for: Risk Aware Consensual Kink, and means that everyone involved needs to be aware of the risks you may be facing when playing with household items, knows what to do to mitigate those risks, and always always always practices informed and enthusiastic consent.
Insertables - who?
I do not recommend inserting anything into your body that isn’t a sex toy and that isn’t made of 100% silicone, borosilicate glass, hard plastic, stainless steel, or ceramic. Insertables come with stricter prerequisites because there are more risks involved when putting something inside your body. We don’t want to insert/penetrate/thrust anything that could catch/tear/or leave any not body-safe residue behind.
I understand that in many cases, people do not have access to insertable toys. If you find yourself in this position, I recommend using a cucumber or a banana and putting a condom on it! A condom will help keep a barrier between your body and anything that may be on your fuckable produce of choice. Some people may also use the handle of their hairbrush or the neck of a shampoo bottle (depending on the shape and size of your brand). Another option if you are into temperature play is to fill a condom full of water, tie it off, and stick it in the freezer. You will have a chilly, rock-hard dildo to play around with. Please keep in mind that most of these suggestions do not have a flared base and would not be safe for anal use.
Inspiration - where?
You can find inspo for your pervertibles anywhere! Once you start looking, you can’t stop seeing.
You can use paper clips or chip bag clips as makeshift nipple clamps. Start gently!
Shower curtains or water-resistant tablecloths can be placed on top of your sheets or floor to prevent a mess during squirting or urine-related play. Keep in mind that unlike blankets designed for this, shower curtains won’t absorb any moisture and you will have to carefully move your dropcloth after play.
Any board game you may have can be made “dirty” by turning it into a strip version.
Perhaps you remember getting spanked with a wooden spoon when you were younger or remember stories of your parents getting spanked. Try it out as a horny, consenting adult - it’s a classic for a reason.
Have a mint or rinse with mouthwash before going down on someone for a tingly, cooling feel.
Where a hairbrush handle may be good as an insertable, the back end of the bristle part can also be good for spanking. You could play a game with your partner turned the other way called “what am I spanking you with?” Perhaps try spatulas and books too. Be sure to check-in with your partner and only spank them on the meaty part of their butt and thighs. Avoid the upper butt/lower back area!
Scarves can work for tying up partners’ wrists and ankles, or as a blindfold. If you are into sensory deprivation, try ear plugs in addition to a blindfold. You may find it is titillating waiting for the next touch!
Try humping a pillow. Try thrusting between couch cushions.
People with penises can fuck fruit too! Cut yourself a little tunnel in a grapefruit or some other handheld, larger produce and stroke away. Just be careful of the acidity. Use a condom if you please.
Have you ever masturbated with your shower head or bathroom faucet? No? Try it out. Yes? Try it again.
It can feel really nice to warm up a washcloth by rinsing it under hot water for a bit, and then laying it over your genitals, and then stimulating yourself.